You’re not smart enough. You’re not rich enough. You don’t have time. You don’t have the right education. You’re a single mother. You’re divorced. Your credit is bad. You aren’t pretty enough. You’re not smart enough.
The list of things that we say to ourselves when we think about pursuing our dreams goes on and on. We then become our own worst enemy.
Fearlessly and relentlessly pursuing my dreams began after I stepped on the yellow footprints in South Carolina to begin my training to be a Marine. If anyone would have told me that I would one day be a part of this elite group of people I would have chuckled and walked away. I grew up not believing in myself. I was constantly reminded by the people that I loved and trusted that I could not be what I wanted to be because it was not realistic. It was tough unlearning that lesson, but I found myself in the perfect place to do so.
I never had the desire to join the military. It was never part of my dream, but I knew after graduation and a few semesters into my college education that I wanted more than what I found in my small corner of the world. I walked away from a full scholarship and walked into my dream of taking my life to the next level. Joining the Marine Corps was one of the best decisions that I made in my life. Completing basic training taught me that I can do anything that I put my mind to.
One of my goals as a mother to three beautiful brown girls is to teach them that it is ok to unapologetically pursue their dreams and to have the courage to go against the grain. It is one thing to tell them this but there is power in showing them how to fearlessly and relentlessly pursue their dreams. Leading by example is key.
To fearlessly and relentlessly pursue your dreams you have to learn how to ignore the external negative chatter from “friends” and “family”, but most of all you have to silence your own critic.
Here are 10 steps to freeing yourself of the negative internal chatter and to gain the emotional fortitude to fearlessly and relentlessly pursue your dreams.
Rule #1: Give your dream life.
Write it down. You don’t have to be very specific. Just get it out or your head and onto paper. When you commit to writing it down, you’ve taken the first step of speaking it into existence. There’s something about putting a pen to paper and making declarations. It just works.
Rule #2: Breathe.
Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it and then release it through your mouth. Can you feel that? Respect it. You’ve been given the opportunity to experience life. Respect and treasure every breath that you breathe because each and every one is a gift. Your dream will not suffocate you. It gives you air—something to look forward to each day, something to be grateful for—something that reminds you that you’re alive.
Rule #3: Look at yourself in a mirror.
Take an exploration of your being from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Enjoy the wonderment of God’s creation. You were magnificently and purposefully created. Own it. Don’t fear it. Face your fears and trepidation the same way you would look yourself in the mirror. On some days you’ll look at your dreams and find flaws and areas that need improvement. On some days, you’ll look at your dreams and start flexing and flaunting.
Rule #4: Make those negative thoughts tangible and free them from your mind.
Write each negative thought on a piece of paper, fold it in half and then rip it into shreds. Turn your negative thoughts into physical trash. This process helps you recognize your negativity and discard it. You don’t want negative space taking up room in your dream. Recognize its presence so that it doesn’t take you by surprise. Then toss it in the trash to make room for positivity.
Rule #5: Say yes.
Give yourself permission to dream and then move on that dream. Accept the challenge to go after what you want. Don’t say “I think so.” or “It might be a good idea.” Simply say “Yes.”
Rule #6: Believe in yourself.
Don’t allow yourself to take on the ownership of other people’s negative thoughts about your dream. Keep in mind that ending your own personal negative chatter about your dreams can be hard on its own. Say no to taking on someone else’s negative chatter.
Rule #7: Be patient with yourself.
Give yourself permission to try and forgive yourself if you fail. Failure is not a bad thing. Failure is actually necessary for growth. How will you ever know what will work for you if you don’t try? Failure also gives you the opportunity to be the best you. Take it as a lesson learned and use it to elevate yourself to the next level. Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Don’t give up on yourself or your dream.
Rule #8: Discover the humor in the journey.
It’s ok to laugh at yourself. If you make a mistake blame it on being human. You’re allowed to have human moments. If you don’t find humor then every mistake that you make pursuing your dreams will become unbearable, and may cause you to give up.
Whenever I pursue any dream I reach back in time to my time in the Marine Corps and say to myself, that if I can complete this then I can complete anything. My time in the service is one of the tangible experiences in my life that tethers me to knowing that I can do whatever I want if I am willing to work for it; and once I earn it then it is mine and no one can take it away from me. Canceling out the negative chatter in your personal space can be hard but it’s not impossible. You owe it to yourself to give yourself the best dream possible. Don’t rob yourself of your dreams and ideas. Go after it, despite your fears or your challenges.
–Jamesha Bazemore
@ijnaturals on Twitter
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